Co wam mogę powiedzieć wracam do domu a za tydzień nowa szkoła... czy się boję trochę czy jestem szczęśliwa bardzo czy tęsknię ogromnie.
Za ludźmi lasem namiotami śmiechem wszystkim czego nie umiem opisać A na co składa się harcerstwo. Ale mam masę motywacji żeby w roku szkolnym z dzieciakami pracować jak najlepiej żeby jechać na kurs żeby się rozwijać zamknąć HO.
Żeby móc żyć pełnia życia skupić się na rozwoju i pomocy innym.
Zęby być...ehh opowiem na story, ale ta radosną osóbka z przed 3 lat która gdzieś zniknęła...za którą wszyscy tęsknią...opowiem wam.
Jeszcze masa planów na ten ostatni tydzień...Ale kocham to że mam tak cudownych ludzi wokół siebie że...mam swoją zwariowana harcerska rodzina na którą zawsze można liczyć.
Co wam powiem...
"Kim był bym gdyby nie rozkaz życia
kim gdyby nie skautów styl życia
A tak swe istnienie przypisuje tobie i harcerstwo czyli temu co robię"
Bo to jest mój życiem 🖤💚
Więcej na story o obozie i o mnie na nim....A od jutra.. Wracam z kaloryką 2400😲😲😲😲😲😲😲
Anorexia is a chapter in the story of my life. But it shall NOT be in the end of my book. .
As you may have seen, the past 24hours have been an utter shambles. Doctors visits leading to 🏥 visits, which worked to prove just how much anorexia still manages to grip me. .
Bradycardia, cardiac ischaemia, low bp and postural tachycardia are some of the PHYSICAL signs of anorexias presence in my life. My heart rate got to 47bpm, which is low, but has been my “normal” for quite some time now, meaning the doctors felt it would be safe for me to be at home. .
I’ll tell you something: I’ve gained quite a substantial amount of weight and anorexia STILL riddles my body with problems. And this isn’t even mentioning the chaos it causes in my mind. Truth be told, I’m having a tough, TOUGH time at present. Day to day, moment to moment tasks are bind-bogglingly challenging and honestly, there have been times recently where I want to throw the towel in all together. .
This breaks me. It hurts me. I have so much frustration for the disorder that’s stealing my own life before my very eyes, yet somedays I feel powerless to make a change. I feel like this is my forever reality: anorexia. .
But it’s not. There’s no denying it’s my PRESENT reality, but it sure as fuck is not going to be my FOREVER reality. I’ve simply had enough. My family has had enough. By GOLLY anorexia can kindly go piss off now. .
I’m going about finding my feet again, so please bear with me while I do 😇 I need to gain strength so i can be Imee again, I’m tired of being defined by my illness. I want to be ME. .
Please, please, if you’re reading this: TAKE YOUR LIFE BACK. Fight. Do whatever it takes. You do not want this existence. Anorexia is not a novelty. Anorexia is a cause for pure misery. And no one, NO ONE deserves such a life.
Yesterday we went to the vegetarian and vegan restaurant me and dad went to a couple of weeks ago. I first had this 'cocktail'💪 liquid calories are hard especially unknown calories! We also ordered appetizers and SHARED them. Sharing can also be a bit hard because I always like to know before eating how much I would have to eat. I had to eat something when my mom did. Then for my main I had this pasta dish but you can't really see anything 😂 I ALSO HAD DESSERT!!!! Apple crumble, yum😛 ~
This was also very delicious but it was a struggle 😕 I couldn't finish my dessert because I was so full and I cried a bit. My head was just screaming at me and I was already scared for weighing. This morning I got weighed and I gained A LOT! I started crying and went for a walk with my 🐕. But I walked a lot more then usual. I also promised to make cupcakes for my little brother's and I didn't want to after gaining so much. Eventually my parents got me convinced, I also don't want to make me brother sad. ~
Keep fighting!♥️ #anorexia#anorexiarecovery#anorexianervosarecovery#anorexiarecover#anawho#edrecovery#edfam#eatittobeatit#happynothungry#beatana#mentalhealth#mentalillness#fuckana#food#vegetarian#orthorexia#eatingdisorderrecovery#eatingdisorder
Fitness and health tracking devices are becoming increasingly popular and a huge variety of wearable tech and apps now exist. Indeed, many smartphones and smart watches now come primed and ready to track our activity, sleep and nutrition.
Research has for a long time highlighted how monitoring behaviours can help to lead to positive changes in our lifestyles. It can be an effective way to help increase physical activity, and to achieve weight loss.
But monitoring physical activity and food intake may not be useful for everyone. Indeed, people with eating disorders often have unhealthy relationships with food and exercise. Obsessive behaviours such as calorie counting, rigid, driven exercise and unhealthy perfectionism are common among those with eating issues.
A small body of research has started to explore how fitness trackers and calorie counting apps might be linked to disordered eating and exercise. Higher levels of body dissatisfaction and disordered eating have been identified among those who use tracking tools, compared to those who do not. And many patients with eating disorders report using calorie counting tools such as MyFitnessPal. And these tools have been identified as having a negative impact on their eating disorder symptoms.
App creators say “they promote healthy lifestyles, and safeguards [are] in place to deter those wishing to pursue harmful habits.” MyFitnessPal, for example, includes resources on eating disorders on their website and has previously published blog posts claiming the app can help people to recover from eating disorders. But out research seems to indicate otherwise.
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Read the full article here with #theconversation https://theconversation.com/fitness-trackers-and-eating-disorders-is-there-a-link-121663
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hi everyone, i’m m., i’m 19 years old (soon to be 20), and from now on i’m going to expose how my recovery from anorexia is proceeding to the world of instagram!! i’m kinda nervous because i’ve never done anything like this before, or if i have it was like on my private journal (which i don’t currently have the courage to read but still). i’ve been suffering from anorexia for the past 5 years and things have been rough in the past but i think that now i’m accepting more and more the fact that i need to recover and get better. thus, i’m not doing so bad lately: i’m trying and it’s tough but i’m going to power through this so stick with me for a while. i decided to start an account because from september i will attend university away from home and that literally frightens me. i therefore have decided to start this account as a food journal in order to help me record what i eat (hopefully it will be beneficial for my dietician’s appointments too). i’m kinda stable right now in the sense that i eat some “fear foods” from time to time but what kills me are my thoughts: my body is pretty ok but my mind still relapses more often than not. i kinda eat the same things over and over so i’m sorry if you’re not going to be so impressed by that!! oh and last but not least i’d like to apologize in advance for my english (it’s not the best but whatevs, as long as you get the gist of what i want to express it’s fine). thanks for reading this super long intro!!
FUCK MIJN REGELS IK EET BANAAN!
Jouw regels zorgen ervoor dat je de dingen die je NIET mag en de dingen die volgens jou NIET goed zijn, alleen maar meer en meer door je hoofd heen spoken. Het blijft maar door je hoofd gaan, niet alleen bij iedere maaltijd maar eigenlijk iedere seconde van de dag. Iedereen om je heen lijkt ook wel alleen maar de dingen te eten die jij van jezelf niet mag of die 'slecht' zijn.
Met een eetstoornis honger jij je lichaam uit(ja ook met BED!!), je lijf en je mind zijn moe van alle regels, je wilt gewoon voeding! Wat gebeurt er dus, ja hoor je krijgt die eetbui die je zo graag wilt voorkomen.
Je mag echter leren dat voeding gewoon voeding is niks meer niks minder. Maar jou eetstoornis heeft een bepaalde betekenis gegeven aan voeding, wat voor jou nu waarheid is geworden. En veelal betekent dat, dat je de alles-of-niets methode hanteert. Wat natuurlijk 'lijkt te werken' in de 'niets-fase' maar in de 'alles-fase' ben je woest op jezelf dat je geen genoeg discipline hebt. En dat is niet eerlijk, want juist de niets-fase stimuleert die alles-fase. Dit heeft niks met discipline te maken, maar met ondervoeding van het lichaam. Balance is the key en hoe eng dat in het begin ook is, ik hoop dat ik jou mag leren stapjes te zetten om balans te krijgen.
Kies jij liever voor de alles-of-niets methode of zou jij heel graag leren een gebalanceerd voedingspatroon te hebben met ontspannen gedachtes?
CHEERIOS TO CHALLENGE THE CEREAK FEAR 👊🏻 😬. Breakfast Today is 35g Oat Cheerios 150ml Semi Skimmed Milk andantes APPLE ‼️ 🍏
woke up this morning still feeling super full and bloated from eating late last night that is not an excuse to skip breakfast as I still need this as today is a new day!
The urge to have a protein bar on my break instead it was really strong and this just feels like too many carbs and not enough protein but breaking that role and having my cereal ❌ I would always have cereal for breakfast and IP and if I’m sticking to that then I have to do the same at home I always used to have cereal and nothing bad happened so I don’t know why it’s because I feel? as much as I like the protein bars I feel like having one would mean letting anorexia win so I am having this banging bowl!
also extra challenge and #recoverywin for having and APPLE 🍏 Instead of strawberries as I had planned to have strawberries but there was one apple left in the bottle so it was like destiny and I prefer to have an apple of weekends as I can have it on my break which I find gives me an extra boost it just felt like a waste of carbs and sugar but I know realistically it will make no difference
working again today and really dreading it now my manager has left but just trying to earn as much money as I can before I start college if that’s what I’m going to do?
getting this was really tough as they didn’t even tell me to do it so it felt like it was unnecessary and I did not need it but I knew that was just Anna telling lies trying to get me to avoid it
so posting this now I’m going to eat in the car on the way to work feeling super guilty and I hate going into work feeling full and uncomfortable as that just makes me feel greedy and even worse but I guess the feeling will pass and work is a good distraction
really not a fan of these Cheerios but I have a big box to use up they are just a bit plain and boring but taste nice when they go a bit soft in the sweet milk ✔️ so smashing the stupid thoughts and sticking to my plan
breakfast is always needed no matter what my head says!
PYSZNY OBIADEK ❤️
Petarda na talerzu 🙃
Krewetki z warzywami w sosie sojowym, makaron 😘
Makaron razowy 100g
Skrobia ziemniaczana łyżeczka
Olej rzepakowy 2 łyżeczki
Sos sojowy łyżeczka
Ocet winny łyżeczka
Sposób przygotowania: Owoce morza obrać, oczyścić. Przyprawić solą i imbirem. Odstawić na kilka minut. Skrobię rozprowadzićw wodzie. Marchew obrać. Paprykę i marchew pokroić w paseczki. Czosnek obrać i przecisnąć przez praskę. Na patelni rozgrzaćłyżeczkę oleju. Dodać czosnek. Smażyć około minuty. Dodać owoce morza i smażyć, aż zmienią kolor na różowy. Wyłożyć natalerz. Na patelnię wlać łyżeczkę oleju, wrzucić warzywa i smażyć kilka minut. Następnie wlać sos sojowy, ketchup i ocet. Dodaćcukier i wymieszać. Całość zagotować. Dodać owoce morza. Po chwili dodać skrobię. Znów zagotować. Podawać z makaronemugotowanym według przepisu na opakowaniu.
A lil booty update🍑Btw YES I am posed and YES I am tensing, so this is not a natural posture. But recently I have been working out because I find that it’s beneficial for my brain as well as my body. A healthy relationship with physical activity (not too much, not too little) is another goal I am working towards so I want to share this with you guys. Featuring the new workout shorts I bought btw💕
Hard work does and WILL pay off.
It always seems to be the things that you genuinely want, that are the things you need to work hardest to get.
When I was ill I fought so hard to recovery and I’m still fighting but I can see a huge improvement. I’m constantly challenging my anxieties.
With my GCSEs I worked from 10pm to 4/5 AM nearly every day just doing revison and making notes ( and making sure everything I was revising didn’t go out the other side of my head😬)and then I’d go through these notes and flash cards ( I had literally 100s) until I had went through them all, it took hours. Although I didn’t get any 9s or 8s , I’m gonna be 100% honest with you ,i got two 7s and four 6s and a 5 for maths- I hadn’t finished the course for it though because I started at Christmas and had to get through 28 chapters(600+ pages)in just under 5 months. I was determined to get the grades needed to stay in the year I’m in for collage ( I was moved up a year a few years back) and I got more than required. I’m home educated, my mum and I don’t get on when it comes to revising ( we have different revision techniques 🤦🏼♀️😂) so I was left to do everything by myself. And through this hard work has come many rewards, I feel so happy with myself;I’ve always felt like I was a bit brain cell deficient, if you know what I mean😬 but getting the grades I got made me realise that I’m not and that I do have a work ethic ☺️I also feel like I’ve proved people wrong, including myself 🤭 and I’ve got exactly what I wanted, the grade requirements for collage😁 ( sorry if I come across as a bit gloat, I’m very proud of my achievements and it’s because I’ve worked so hard to get it all, it’s fine to boast ;))
If you work hard, you will not fail. If you put all your effort into what you’re doing, it will turn out how you want it to turn out, if not ( most likely) better.
As my dad always tells me ‘ you make your own luck.’ 🤙🏻
Salut les loulous !
Aujourd’hui je viens vous faire part d’un sentiment, d’une envie mûrement réfléchie.
J’ai remarqué que les filles qui ont notre pathologie sur Instagram prônent le « prendre son temps » dans la reprise de poids. Ce que j’approuvais jusqu’aujourd’hui. Or, après avoir fais l’expérience plusieurs fois d’une prise de poids lente et contrôlée, j’ai réalisé que finalement je retardais simplement le processus de guérison. Au niveau physiologique, c’est sûrement l’idéal, c’est certain. Seulement, le mental prend trop de temps et je refuse de m’ancrer dans cette identité toute ma vie. Cette identité d’entre deux, ni trop malade, ni trop guérie. •
Alors aujourd’hui j’ai décidé de faire une prise de poids rapide pour ces derniers kilos. Quelqu’en soit les conséquences. Je veux essayer, après tout c’est la seule expérience vis à vis de la maladie que j’ai pas expérimenté. Ça me coûte quoi?
Je sais que je me confronte à des « dangers »: compulsions (jamais faites), ventre gonflé & prise de poids essentiellement dans celui ci. Mais clairement, je ressens un ras le bol de ne pas aller au bout.
Je me dis que l’été est fini, j’ai plus de raison d’avoir le bide à l’air, et que ce ne sera que le temps d’avoir un poids sain. Après il ira mieux. Tout n’est qu’un temps. Clairement, je veux avoir une vie normale et saine a 100%, et arrêter cet entre deux.
Je ne vais pas engloutir tout et n’importe quoi. Non. Ce sera des aliments normaux, mais en plus grosse quantité. Je demande juste à mon mental de suivre, mais je me sens assez forte pour guérir complètement aujourd’hui.
Pour guérir, il faut un poids sain. La douleur des règles me manquent, l’envie d’avoir des enfants est présente, l’envie d’avoir une vie d’étudiante également.
Je fonce vers la guérison , et je me dis une chose : CARPE DIEM 🙌
Hi everyone 🥰
This was dinner the other night.
5 flipper dippers (breaded fish) 🐟
I was originally only going to have peas. When we were in the shop I said to my mum that we needed beans so she told em to get some and so I picked up a pack, they were reduced salt and sugar but we usually get them. Then I noticed that my stepdad had already picked some up and had them in the basket. They were the normal ones. I got a bit annoyed but I left it. I used to have a fear of the sauce in the beans and it’s kind of been on and off. When I had beans for breakfast everyday I wasn’t scared of it but since having different breakfasts, I’m a bit scared now. But when my stepdad was dishing out the dinner he left half of the beans in the saucepan and I saw them. I decided to just do it and I asked if he was having them, he said no and that I could have them. So I did. I reminded myself the benefits that they bring for example they are an excellent source of protein and are also part of your 5 a day, plus they’re super tasty 😂💛
When I’m scared of food I try to remind myself of the benefits that the food brings. Every single piece of food brings benefits to the body. But I like to pin point what types of benefits my fear foods can bring. 💛
Keep fighting everyone 💓
Do nutritionists and nutritional therapists eat smoothie bowls, juices and salads only? NOPE .
It’s all about BALANCE ⚖️ .
There are days when I don’t cook, as I’m too tired after a long day at work. .
I try to listen to myself and just eat whatever I fancy. Honestly ☺️Sometimes it’s a sourdough baguette with plant butter, basil and tomato. And sometimes a bowl of homemade chips with organic ketchup. .
I don’t eat many sweets, as I tend to go for the savoury stuff like pizza or bread and vegan cheese 🧀 🍕 .
But... every now and then I definitely indulge and go for a good quality dark chocolate 🍫😋 My favourite is the orange flavoured one (brands vary). And if the day was “one of those shitty days” I have it with a glass or wine or two and that’s OK! 🍷 .
I also love freshly ground coffee and I sweeten it with dark muscovado sugar ☕️ .
I don’t obsess over it. Not anymore anyways. .
I’m 35, have tried all the restrictive diets out there and they NEVER work in a LONGER RUN! Why? These “magic diets” that make you lose 10pounds in 10 days are all USELESS. Sure, they might give you a good start if you suffer from obesity or other health issues that require you to quickly lose weight. For instance - when you need an operation and doctors tell you you are a bit “too big” to risk it etc. .
However, generally, all these fad diets do is create a state of extreme deficiency in your body. Be it cutting out one group of macronutrients completely, like the keto, high protein or calorie restriction STARVATION. They also just make you lose water first so you feel lighter. And it’s a lot of body water before your body can start breaking fat tissue. .
Anyways, biomed science aside, I do NOT recommend “going on a diet”. I have myself been exposed to many health risks including eating disorder following crazy diet advice out there. .
These “fast weight loss diets” are always leading to a “yo-yo effect” which makes sense, as your body needs to find an equilibrium and it’s trying to protect you from starving again. .
And health should NOT be about the WEIGHT ONLY. The body image is involved here. Self love &self acceptance are often compromised.
How many patties can you see 😂 these are m by far the best patties I’ve had which they are sweet potato rosties 🙌🍠 this was my lunch before training and was my last training sesh of the week as Sunday is my rest day yasssss 👍 I have no clue what to do tomorrow any ideas??
It’s not bloody easy, it’s the most anxiety producing thing especially in recovery , especially when it’s spontaneous. But you’ve got to live , so I did , I agreed to a spontaneous trip away to London 🙊🤭💕
We drove up early yesterday morn .... it took ages ...... for breakfast I had blueberries - which I’d prepped as else I knew I wouldn’t have breakfast 🥞, a few hours in I had some carrot sticks as morning snack 😋 🥕
Lunch was super scary .... we originally went into source market (correct me with the name if I’m wrong) and it looked lovely but my sister didn’t like it so we tried next door ... I stuck with a salad and while it was nice I felt so greedy , it was a squash and vegetable salad 🥗
We walked around a lot and I was exhausted but I did it , afternoon snack was a pack of Emily’s pinneapple crisp things 🍍
We then headed to the theatre and on route popped into m and s to grab a light dinner - I got the slightly higher cal option 🙊 which is a huge #recoverywin , and I felt guilty but I knew I’d compensate with a lower cal snack - it was a plant kitchen black rice and edamame bean salad 🥗 it was really nice but the guilt was real 😟🤭🦋
And finally in the theatre I had my night snack of an apple 🍎 which was super awkward to eat 😂😂but I did. My body has been craving fruit so so bad so that’s what I’m having 🙊
Another snack another day. 🍫⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀So everything went down hill the last week. I don’t want to go in detail. It were crazy things happening, but now the most is better now. There also were some good stuff happening for example in school with my friends. It’s hard to keep motivated but I have to, I have to fight and you too. Never give up and be strong.💪💕 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀How was your week?❣️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀#anorexianervosarecovery#anorexiafighter#anorexiafight#anorexiarecover#anorexiasucks
Good morning. I had a cooked breakfast at home this morning as my dad and I are going to Brighton for the football today. I'm really looking forward to today and it should be a really good day. The weather is going to be nice as well which helps. Just about to leave to go and get the train. After football we are going to a friend's birthday BBQ as well, so it's going to be a busy day. I hope you all have a good day. ❤ #anorexia#eatingdisorderrecovery#anorexianervosarecovery#edrecovery
Still going strong with the journaling: 18000 words so far!📝.
Committing to full recovery and moving myself away from the quasi-rut that I was so firmly stuck in has been HARD. I wanted to document my experience though because I feel that so many of us struggle the MOST at this stage of our recovery.
This is the part where you aren’t critical, you don’t need monitoring, your loved ones aren’t worried about you anymore, you can go back to exercise (this is often told to people WAY to early on in their recovery process but that’s a WHOLE other topic) and people tell you how ‘well you look’ and that they’re glad you’re ‘better’... You get the point.
The way things are at the moment; upon reaching this stage of our recovery journeys we are often dropped by, well, everyone. The majority of medical support currently offered (in the UK at-least) stops here. You’re discharged and sent off into the world ‘happy’, ‘healthy’ and ‘recovered’.
Problem is, due to the lack of focus on neural rewiring and rediscovery of self (and also, to be honest, PROPER nutritional rehabilitation as well) this ‘recovered’ place is often a very quasi one indeed. In fact, I think this is one of the biggest reasons why full recovery figures continue to stay so low and why relapses and readmissions occur so frequently.
Focus needs to shift. Restrictive eating disorders are MENTAL illnesses. They do not ‘look’ a certain way because mental illness cannot be seen. Starvation has visible signs... malnutrition has visible signs... purging can also have it’s visible signs... but RED’s do not. The visible signs of anorexia are symptoms of it... they are not IT.
I haven’t ‘looked’ anorexic in years. By current medical standards I’m fully recovered. I however know that I’m not. I know that anorexia still resides in areas of my brain and still affects some of my thoughts, feelings and decisions. I also know that whilst tendrils of disorder remain I’ll never be truly free, and therefore, never truly recovered. That won’t do for me...
I’ve committed to my journey from quasi to full recovery. A journey that’ll lead me to the rest of my life.
Let’s do this🔥
• afternoon snack is pea crisps + a super early dinner at 4:30pm before work is a ham, cheese, baked bean buttery toastie 😅🔥💪🏻 • really anxious about timings and having to eat dinner so early but I have to fuel my body for a 5hr shift at work from 5-10 🙌🏻😴 •
Cornflakes w/ hazelnut, coconut, banana, strawberry and some greek yoghurt... trying to eat is hard when I don’t particularly feel hungry or the thought of eating feels nauseating, but, eating is a necessary part of being human, so I must do it. Especially when giving into those ed behaviours would strengthen that voice inside my head, giving it more power, making it even harder to resist relapse, thus prolonging my misery!!!!!!1!! Sooo I think I’ll just eat breaky hey 😝 #edrecovery#eatingdisorderrecovery#anarecovery#anorexiarecovery#anorexianervosarecovery
• good morning world!! after an amazing night last night with my bf (anorexia wasn’t invited 😉😂) and breakfast in bed this morning I am feeling hella anxious about my intake. But - each meal and snack are independent, and what I ate last night had NO IMPACT on what I’m eating today!! Soooo, lunch is my safe but yum combo of: tin tuna, cup of brown rice, beans, broccoli and corn + stewed apple (for the bloat baby 😏😅) • hope you’re all having a wonderful day, sending love to everyone ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ •