This past few days have triggered me into a hole of emotions I haven’t felt in awhile. .
I am definitely feeling my way through.
I don’t like confusing feelings but sometimes that is all we can do. Today is a 𝘔𝘖𝘔𝘌𝘕𝘛 𝘉𝘠 𝘔𝘖𝘔𝘌𝘕𝘛 day.
I can’t help but this about the hardest part of trying to make good decisions in life is harsh, and no one ever wants to admit the truth in this statement. “Every single action has a reaction.“
Right now,I am watching someone who is battling for their life because they didn’t think their actions would ever have a reaction. .
The TRUTH: Years of failing to acknowledge the reaction has effected those closest to her while she continued to feel invincible. The compound effect has created a force that feels unstoppable in this moment. .
I am watching my mother fight for her life and the forces of these reactions continue to effect my sister and I just like it has for the past 30 years.
This leaves me with no words. I guess this is some form of grief... but, that word doesn’t feel right either. What I do know...
It’s a feeling I wish upon NOBODY. BUT, I know that the only way to get through it is to GO through it.
And that, my friends, is how you evolve and grow with anything HARD. #gettingthroughit
She looked at how far she has come from being so timid and meek. She's experienced happiness in the midst of sadness. She's seen so much happen in the blink of an eye while trying to keep up and survive. At this point in time, she's glad she's doing more than just surviving. She's going places trying to figure out who she is and that's okay.
My Number One Success Tool 📶
You can never fail if you continue to
Move forward and try new things! ⠀ ⠀ ⠀
⁃ Ask yourself, what are some things I’ve been putting off because I have tired and it didn’t work?
⠀ ⁃ Ask yourself, what are some things I have been putting off because I think I can’t do them? ⠀
1️⃣ Make that your core belief, that if I continue to take action over and over again, I’ll have everything I have ever wanted! ⠀
When I’m at work, how I am during the day can vary. Sometimes, I would be occupied/busy with what I’m doing and won’t have time to immediately help out my coworkers when needed. If they get impatient with how much work I have or how I do my job, then that might affect me. Sometimes, how my coworkers communicate with me can affect me as well, but not all of my coworkers are like that. Some situations relating to what I would be doing at work can have another affect on me.
All of this can really change my mindset and mood throughout my day at work, but once I’m home, I’m free from all the stress and can ease up for the rest of the day. Once I get my paycheck, then that means it was all worth it. You might suggest me to get a different job due to all of the stress and annoyances I go through, but no matter where you work, you’ll still deal with stress and annoying situations. I’ve been at my current job for over three and a half years, and I’m able to tolerate it.
Even with what I deal with, especially waking up at 4am to go to work, I’m happy with the days that I work and the free time I have on the weekends, and the weekends usually free me from all the troubles that can run through my mind from the stress I could get at work. I don’t deal with stress and annoying situations at work all the time, but we all have our bad days. All we have to do is get through the day and try to relax when it’s all done.
"For the LORD your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”"
- Zephaniah 3:17 NLT
Feeling almost human again..thanks a million for all of the prayers and to Cathy for delivering diapers!! I'm not 100%, but the intensity of the pain was way down today. It's been super challenging mentally and physically, and I've been singing "King of My Heart" kind of non-stop, reminding myself that God doesn't fail us. Pain makes us totally question everything and I think it shows us what we truly believe about God. I'm so so sorry for anyone who has any herpes-related infection anywhere on their body. It is hell! The things that God dropped in my lap as solutions were bentonite clay for drying up the lymphatic fluid in blisters (I did lance them when the pressure was too much and applied bentonite with colloidal silver mixed in..bentonite has natural zinc). CBD oil orally and topically for inflammation and nerve pain management (really made the pain manageable again; was feeling desperate for relief). Vit D, C, and Tumeric capsules plus L-lysine are helping too. Learned that high dose vitamin D3 +K2 (must have both for saftey!) like 50,000iu can put residual nerve pain in remission (Dr. BERG on YouTube). Jesus does come in the thick of it. All we have to do is call. He always gives solutions when I ask, even in the deep night...sometimes they work just for the moment.. like extra calcium for nerve pain and cold garlic slices for hypersensitive blisters.❤
Any questions welcome!
Ps. Opiates for pain relief are not a good idea. Shingles is nerve pain and opiates erode the myelination from the nerves, exposing them and creating more pain in the longrun due to damaged nerves!!! CBD was a much better alternative for coping with nerve pain.
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” — Winston Churchill
Just a reminder (to myself as much as anyone else) that whatever it is you’re going through right now, it’s temporary. Like most things in life, it, too, shall pass.
So stop your crying, lamenting, and complaining. Pick your head up, screw it on straight and keep moving forward. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel so keep your sights on that and stop focusing on the negative, for it will only cause you stress and attract more negative energy into your space.
Meditation helps. Don’t know where to start? Download an app like @headspace to get you started. It’s not as hard as you think.
I have discovered the magic that is Maya Angelou. Her quotes have becoming my matraia's. Her words give me hope that I will come out of this sea of emotions, depression and anxiety a better person. Knowing that there are kinder words in the world than the ones I hear in my head is the reason I am able to get out of bed.
If someone would have told me a couple of years ago that I would be living life with no regrets, I probably wouldn’t have believed them. 🧐 Like you, I was once broken too. I’m glad I was tho, because I came back even stronger. Sis, no matter what season of your life you are in, grow through what you go through. 🌟 There is purpose at the end 💜