Blue skies & being trapped
Starting to feel genuinely scared about going outside. In the past (nearly) 3 weeks I’ve been outside once to go to physiotherapy which was a waste of time. I was exhausted as well. When I’m tired and in pain I’m grumpy and taking it out on those who caring for me. Mainly because they’re the only people around!
I’ve learnt a lot this time from being ill, those people who said they’ll visit or they’ll be in touch haven’t text or rang... the people you’d expect to and kinda thought were better than that. The ones you made a big thing of when they were ill etc.. it’s quite amazing really and eye opening!
On the other hand you have the amazing ones who are texting, arranging visits and checking you’re okay. These people have showed me how much they mean to me. These are the people who I appreciate so dearly and are precious. I am blessed to have some beautiful people in my life who have their own things going on but still make time for me whether it be a text, visit or phone call it all means so much. Especially seen as post op you can get very down. You lose your independence and a sense of your identity as well. You wear easy clothes not ones you like. Your hair isn’t styled because it’s too much effort. Make up is forgotten because what’s the point. Nails aren’t done because the thought of sitting on a chair for an hour is agony. Legs are hairy because reaching down to shave is painful, bushy eyebrows and mono brows appear from not daring to glance at a mirror. You know what though? That’s okay. Screw what we should be doing, balls to looking pretty and presentable. My body is recovering and so is my mind. I know my mental health is terrible at the minute so presentation isn’t top of the list. I will do whatever I can to reduce my pain so this is me and that is the ugly truth! ✌🏻