It is harder to be vulnerable, speak up, and share how you feel in a relationship than to blame the other. But if we can take responsibility, we take back some power. We can forgive ourselves for letting them treat us like this and do better going forward. If we feel safe enough, we can ask for what we want. We can request that things change by expressing how the current situation is harming us. That is what healthy relating and communicating looks like. People who care about us will listen and try. Those who are right for us will understand. And if no agreements can be made, we can decide if it’s worth it to be in the relationship at all. We can assess the cost. And we can also take a break or leave. If your sobriety ever feels threatened by a toxic person, I can help you turn it around and get yourself to more stable ground. *I am not talking about extreme abuse here; that could take more than harnessing personal power. It may require guidance and further protections.
‘And August the most peaceful month*./ To be, in the grass, in the peacefullest time./ And to feel that the light is a gentian light,/ In which everything is meant for you/ And nothing need be explained.’ — Wallace Stevens(ish)•
*unless you work for the National Park Service