I shapeshifted to spy on my ex-husband, as all women do, to see how miserable he is without me. He looks like he’s never been happier!! WHAT THE HELL! I TOOK EVERYTHING FROM HIM. He’s renting a room in his friend’s house for Pete’s sake! He still grills, mows Jerry’s lawn for FREE, goes to church, defends Israel on all political threads on Facebook, hangs out with Junior. It’s almost like he doesn’t conform to the Boomer Doctrine of Lifestyle Inflation™️. I’ll have to report him to the Boomer Senate...
P.S. Deborah QUIT BRINGING DEVILED EGGS TO THE EMPOWERED EX WIVES POTLUCK, YOU DON’T MAKE THEM RIGHT. THEY’RE TOO WATERY AND TOO SALTY. YOUR JALAPENO POPPERS ARE ALWAYS A HIT, DON’T FIX WHAT ISN’T BROKE